Sunday, May 17, 2009

Camp Spiders - ewww

When I got to camp Thursday night there was a big ass spider sitting peacefully on the wall of my kitchen, next to the trash can. I’ve been phobic about spiders since I can remember. My mother was phobic, my grandmother, my sister, my cousins, my aunts. You sense a family trend here? A family’s conditioning, passed down and across generations. I suppose there are spiders that can poison you, but generally here in Maine, they are pretty innocuous. A non phobic person would just kind of ignore them and shoo them away if they got in the way. But a phobic person – or at least a person with phobia around spiders (I know the word but that word just brings up all these other images about stupid movies, it doesn’t apply to me, a rational and compassionate human being.) has to seek out and destroy the little monster.
I was bringing stuff in from the car and the only weapon I had within reach was a bottle of Stoli vodka. So I tried to squish him with the bottom of the bottle. Instead I just trapped him in the concave bottom, and with no other weapons at hand I eventually had to remove the bottle and he escaped and scurried behind the hutch.
This was no tiny spider. I’ve come to ignore or easily dispose of those. This guy was so big, his legs protruded out from under the edges of the stoli bottle.
I won’t describe the rest of my futile efforts to banish the spider. Yes futile. He’s still over there – someplace. He probably came and crawled all over me last night while I slept, or maybe he’s been huddled over there behind the hutch ever since he escaped the stoli crush.
I’ve tried to think of him like the cute little chameleons you see everywhere in Thailand. You just sort of say oh, aren’t they cute, with just a friendly warning to keep out of your personal space. And they’re pretty compliant.
The fact that I know how irrational it is to be phobic about spiders does help some; especially when I’m sitting here thinking about it. But at the very sight of a big spider like that I go into fight or flight mode – adrenaline rush and all. Conditioning. Grrr.
I believe if I could envision him and hold him in my mind, in all his hairy glory, for long enough, I think I would be able to decondition myself. I tried looking at pictures of spiders, but I couldn’t get over the aversion. They still creeped me out. Perhaps if I did it every day for a couple of minutes and studied them, trying to change my reaction from fear to curiosity.
I never did see him again all weekend though every time I walked by the trash can I scrutinized the area carefully. I’m hoping he found an escape route and he’s back out in the wild where he will remain. Camp is definitely not creepy crawly proof. There are a few small gaps in the floors and beside windows big enough to allow little crawly things to get in. So I sprayed the gaps I could find with a spider repellant which will, hopefully, discourage any more from coming to explore.
I didn’t let him ruin my first long weekend at camp. Friday morning I awoke to a pair of herons fishing next to shore.








I also got a photo of this little beauty - a red breasted grosbeak who was happy to pose for some pictures.
I enjoyed a couple hours of kayaking on Friday and a short paddle on Saturday. It rained pretty hard Saturday night and into Sunday morning.
I’m back home in Belgrade Lakes now, watching the sun start to set, sparkling off Long Pond, yet still missing the beauty and simplicity of my little one room camp at the marsh on Cobbossee Stream.


2 comments:

amakehs said...

Crystal- this little entry made me laugh to myself. I am not afraid of spiders but am terrified of snakes - I tried so hard to overcome the fear, I read a book once called "Animal Speak" in an effort to get to know the creature I fear ( become one with the snake and all that). It didn't work I still can't even look at a picture of them! - The image of a bottle of stoli trapping the little guy is kind of humerous. Good luck in your efforts to banish the spider...
Peace in criminal times

Rick Dale, author of The Beat Handbook said...

I love you even if you do hate spiders.